Ivy Art Attack fundraiser... or how to push past a billionaire.

Received an email last week that was quite unexpected - somehow I've ended up on a PR company's invite list; highly unexpected as I'm a nobody with a job that has nothing to do with anything "cool", "creative" or "interesting"; but I am shallow and cheap enough to abuse a free bar and canape waiters (thanks Justin Hemmes).

I've only been the Ivy once before, having made a decision early on in my life to avoid going out anywhere in the CBD (this has recently caused issues with La Campagna/Good God despite that place being awesome). My last visit lasted 45 minutes, Saturday night for a Pete Versus Toby party - cool party, held in the change room for the pool - I was distracted by Peter Garrett's daughter (not Grace, another one who is a blonde and willowy babe and also around a foot taller than I am sadly). Despite being on a guest list entry was still a nightmare - I was rescued by one of my mates who was a doorbitch there so he just walked us through - if it hadn't been for him I would have given up. Party was packed and the crowd was "meh" at best. So that was my last Ivy experience.

What can I say about it this time? Well it was less busy but still had a buzzy vibe, plus I ended up at the pool - you can see where (if the gossip pages are right) Hemmes has done his dosh. AMAZING. Especially when you think of its location - just off George St - you wouldn't have an idea of where you were unless you knew. The pool also somehow avoids the over-chlorinated asphyxiation or the so salted it burns effect.

No one checked out names off on the list when entering - this was a bit strange - but considering Dialogue PR managed to send their list of contacts out with the invite this may not be all that strange. Good stuff regarding privacy laws.

In terms of the crowd? Not many "celebs" really - as it was an artistic event there was a lot of the Surry hills creative crowd, the only one I could positively identify being Alvin Manolo of St. Augustine Academy. There was a certain tall male model who has given himself the moniker of a day of the week that I will not mention here as that guy's a big enough wanker already and does not need any more help.

There was a clone of Daniel Merriwether doing the rounds (unless it was him - but why would he bother being back in Oz?) and Ryan Stokes also appeared. He's much taller than I thought. The urge to push him into the pool did go through my mind but the urge to live to an old age took over, thus confirming the death of the "18 year old anarchist" in my soul. I did touch his back however when having to move to the bar. He felt like us mere mortals, although his suit was very soft - I couldn't identify it - all I know is that I want it.

Despite it being a warm evening the pool wasn't being used - just before I left two girls/perhaps models jumped in fully clothed. Whether they had been paid I don't know. There was an older gent in fishermans cap who must have been part of the paid entertainment - he was dancing near the rinsing showers and near a giant pink inflatable teddy bear but despite his best efforts the crowd was pretty subdued.

It was a good fundraiser in terms of the entertainment but I doubt in terms of fundraising it made much - gold coin donation was a requirement for entry but unless the guy holding the box at the entrance was hiding muscles in his stick like arms, he didn't look like he had collected much. On the other hand there were a lot of people around the pool so hopefully they had all donated.

Of the artworks on the walls? Standard collection of modern pop/street art - that were all for sale but I had not seen any marked as sold which is disappointing.

Would I go to the Ivy again? Maybe. The free booze helped. The crowd was not what I expected (and had seen before) - I expected horrible white pointed crocodile skin pointy shoes, badly cut pale grey suits and big sunnies, of which there was a smattering but perhaps the "arty" crowd put them off. Personally though I'd rather visit one of the new small bars such as Bondi's Rum Diaries or Darlo's Dr Pong, Pond or Ching-a-lings. It was an experience however and if you get the chance you should definitely check it out - but perhaps when the booze is free and not the presumed nightmare of Friday/Saturday.

Basic plots... too hard... can't be bothered... researching... oh god why doesn't David S reply?

"Connor knows that Skynet is after Reese; he also knows Reese is his father. Gotta find and save him, so that ... um, here's where I got confused. The original Reese (played by Michael Biehn) was killed at the end of T1, set in 1984. Still, he came from the future just like the Terminator, which makes you wonder how that was possible if Kyle died in 1984. And if so, how come he's alive in 2018? That's the thing about the past it is so what we make of it, at least in the Terminator films. Time bends, as Einstein postulated. Here, it's like a slinky coil, as slippery as it needs to be to keep the franchise going."

Paul Byrnes is one of the SMH's film reviewers. He is responsible for the jibberish above. It also shows he is incapable of following what is a pretty basic plot. It makes you wonder that if when he watched Benjamin Button he spent the entire film confused by how Brad Pitt kept on looking younger. So the question is - who's he blowing to keep that job?

Sydney's desal plant

Yay for desalinisation! It gives us drinking water while both burning up huge energy amounts as if there was no issue about pollution and increasing the local water salinity in the ocean by such an amount that most of the local marine life has to move on. And Sydney is getting one in Kurnell.

One could never claim Kurnell was a pristine environment to begin with however. Being located on Botany Bay this place faces pollution from Sydney's delightful Cooks River (which i think once scored by being named Australia's most polluted river) and Sydney Airport nee Kingsford Smith. It did/does have a few trees however.

The locals are complaining with good reason that the construction of the desal plant is literally causing their houses to fall apart due to the 24/7 construction work. This is a genuine issue, to the point where even a notoriously lightweight current affairs show (Today Tonight, now hosted by ex channel 10 sports reporter Matt White!) has reported on the issue. In terms of noise pollution I don't think the issue is as bad due to proximity to the airport and Port Botany (although the airport does have a curfew). This is what the locals are facing.

What is the rest of the state facing? Well the men who announced desal are no longer even in parliament, let alone Premier. This was Bob Carr and Morris Iemma. Carr, a frustrated American historian who now works for Macquarie Group (who missed out did or not bid for any slice of the pie -what you expect me to research this?) and Iemma (or Droopy Dog as he will be referred to from now on) were the Premiers who got desal to the point where it could not be cancelled. Droopy claimed that the construction of a wind farm at Bungendore would offset the energy used by the desal. Wind power is highly reliable, hence so many places around the world use it*. It will instead be powered by one of the few resources (apart from public servants and pr chicks) that NSW has in abundance - coal. Glorious, environmentally friendly coal! Thankfully many of NSW's coal mines are located in places such as the Hunter and Illawarra which are rusted on Labor voting seats so the use of coal may even be a bonus in these places, despite the ongoing diversification of industry in those areas (I'll have three points of ICE please).

Iemma got skewered in true NSW political fashion and was replaced by Nathan Rees. Now Nathan found himself in a very hard place. Not only were the state's finances in more of a mess than the grammar in a teenage girl's SMS but he had and continues to be tied to this massive infrastructure project left to him by his predecessor (he has more problems than this but that's a later post).

What to do? He can't do anything really, especially when you look at the companies involved in the construction of the desal plant. Bovis Lend Lease (currently being investigated by New York authorities for overcharging on the World Trade Centre site - niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice), Kellogg, Brown and Root (not sure if they still are but they were a subsidiary of Halliburton who have done a great job in Iraq ) and Worley Parsons (an Australian/Canadian company who have been involved in Iraq reconstruction and in an earlier incarnation were involved in the Sydney ocean outfall project. You have to wander what WP said/offered to beat Halliburton to any Iraq projects, then again they may have won tenders to make Iraq look less of a US monopoly). NSW's recent big project history and future plans would prohibit being too tough on these guys one would suspect.

So NSW has this wizzbang desal plant. Lucky us. A multibillion dollar project that despite objections from the Opposotion will go online and continue to operate no matter who gains power (unless the Greens somehow manage to gain power in NSW in the next 50 years) as there is no way the Opposition would scrap such a large piece of functioning infrastructure. And who do we blame for this? Well we could blame Carr and Droopy but what would be the point? This is institutionalised uselessness in the NSW political system from both sides. Unless there is major change in both major parties projects such as this will continue being put forward - even now it appears Labor is doing something very similar with the Iron Cove Bridge duplication and the CBD Metro line and if it wasn't 4:10am and I wasn't tired I'm sure I could think of a similar example from the Lib/Nats.

Aren't we all so lucky?

*not necessarily true. Although it would be nice wouldn't it?

Starting off

In this blog you can expect the rants and ravings of a skinny, small dicked, private school educated, lazy, opinionated, judgemental, angry bastard.

I left home at 24 due to what I claim was an inability to afford rent out of home while studying at uni. Looking back I could have easily afforded but that would have required effort and thus never happened.

I have the maturity of a 14 year old but possess a superficial charm - if it wasn't for this I would have no friends.

This blog will never deal with one specific topic but whatever takes my fancy on any day I can roll off my sagging backside and draw my attention away from the Xbox - what a great way to build a readership. You may enjoy what you read here or you may not - that's not my problem.

I live in an area of Sydney's eastern suburbs so if you feel the blog is too east centric you can get stuffed. As a middle class white male I fear change so most of my 'adventures' occur near where I live. I grew up near Wollongong and would prefer to never live in a similar location ever again.

Writing requires inspiration - this first post is admittedly uninspired. They may improve in the future, or I may just go back to downloading prolapse porn torrents (always a disturbing image).

I can be found drinking all too often in the Crix and Darlo Bar while pretending to be "cool".

And on that, lets begin...